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Flaphack #7: *Magically transform an old concert lanyard into a soothing pancake scented car freshener!
*not actually magic
DENNY’S WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN DOING
whats the deal with old grandmas who get offended by the word penis but have like 11 kids
do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
Same goes for DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT,
THE EYES = THEY SEE,
THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS,
DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM,
SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME,
ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET’S RECOUNT,
SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z’S
THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE,
ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE
MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER.
WAIT BUT THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE:
HOLMES AND WATSON = WOMANLESS AND HOT
is this a conspiracy or just spooky?
Hugging shorter people and resting your head on theirs
Hugging taller people and having your head against their chest
Hugging people your height and pressing your face against their shoulder
Hugging people and getting picked up by them
Not having people to hug
Giving a hug that comes off as weird
This post describes me in every way
WHERE are they getting this stuff !!